So here is one of my biggest dilemmas about weight loss, tossing out good food, I feel like throwing out good food is such a waste, but sadly, it is better to be thrown out then in my gut, right?
So, when I was growing up in Scarborough, with my parents, my mother a Hungarian-born lady with relatively severe mental issues, nowadays, it is known as bi-polar, though she does show symptoms of just plain depression as well as some psychosis, and my father a Canadian-born Japanese man who spent his most formative years in Japan, giving him a very thick Japanese accent making it seem as though he also immigrated though he was actually born in BC.
My parents were lower middle-class, my father worked the evening shift as a caretaker in schools in Scarborough, and my mother was a hairdresser. They owned a house in Scarborough, and lived relatively within their means. When it came to food, the rule in our house was that I had to eat everything that was given to me, and if I didn’t eat what was on my plate for dinner, then I would see the same meal for breakfast. I was told not be wasteful, and that you don’t throw out good food, there are children starving in other countries and I should be thankful and eat what was on my plate. We ate leftovers, like a lot of families do, and still do, and again, you didn’t waste anything.
Now that I am grown, my issue is that I have too much food, or I have made too much food and I don’t want to throw it out, so I eat it. So my issue is leftovers, my daughter will take leftovers to work with her, so that works, but anything that is left outside of that, I end up eating, I just can’t bear to throw it away, and this is just leftovers. How do people go through their cupboards and throw out all snacks and chocolates for a fresh new start? I just don’t get it, I do have snacks for the kids and for the most part I don’t touch them to snack on for myself, but there are other things in the house, that I will snack on I can’t begin to think how to throw them out. So what I end up doing is eating it all so that it is gone from the house.
There are other things like pop – I only buy pop around Christmas time, or when we are having company over – such as a party or get-together, but then all the leftover pop is what I want to binge on until it’s gone, I can’t save it for the next party, or put it away for next time, I have to drink it to get it out of the house, and throwing pop out, I mean, what? I don’t even know how to begin to throw pop out. I know better in the garbage then in my belly, but I seriously don’t know how to get past this, why do I feel the need to eat everything off my plate, even if I am full, and then once I am stuffed from dinner, why do I feel the need to eat the leftover cake before it goes bad? Why do I have to have it? Why couldn’t I have just thrown out that one last piece of cake from Christmas dinner, instead I ate it the next day after stuffing myself full of leftovers.
I am great at sharing and generous and love putting things out for people when they come, and I love giving treats away to people, but I don’t understand my need to eat things rather than throw them out, I want to be able to say, look no one is going to eat this, let’s let it go. I am a single mom, so I don’t have a male type figure in my home that eats the remainder of the food, so I guess in a sense I took on that role. For example, my son had pasta last night because he doesn’t like turkey pot pie, I had my leftover turkey pot pie, just the one serving, so I was being good, but then he left some pasta in the bottom of his bowl, and instead of just walking the bowl to the trash, I ate it. Not sure why, I was satisfied with my meal, I was full and didn’t need any more food, but instead of throwing out his 4 bites of pasta, I ate it.
This week, I am going to add to my goals, I am going to try my best to throw something out that I don’t need to have, I am going to try to think of it as saving me and not being a waste if I feel good about me later.
If anyone has any suggestions or if they are going through similar issues, leave a note in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you, I also have other issues that I would like to tackle like:
Overeating when I am full
Being a Chocoholic
Anyway, that’s my rant for today.