One Lousy Week…

So, I am up 2 pounds…I know, I know…and yes, it is my fault, it is a combination of excuses that I have for all of you today.  It has just been a bad week all together, on Sunday, my Uncle succumbed to Liver Cancer, and it hit me a lot harder than I thought it would, I knew he was sick, I was preparing myself for the inevitable, but it happened so fast, from the date of diagnosis, it was only 5 weeks in total, and 3 weeks ago we all went to dinner, and he was able to walk and talk and move.  It really happened fast, and seeing him there, he looked so small, as if he was sleeping.  He was such a great man, I am truly going to miss him.

The rest of my week started out the best it could, I stayed within my calories till Wednesday, and on Wednesday, I decided I needed to eat everything that we have.  I had no willpower, I felt like I was starving, and I ate all the bad things that I normally don’t eat at all…You name it, I ate it, cookies, ice cream, chocolate, meat, cheese, (ok, I eat meat and cheese, just typically not massive amounts of cold cuts standing with my fridge door open) I just grazed through everything, what is it with binge eating, I did extremely well for 2 months, and then all of a sudden, there I am standing at my counter shoving my face with all the crap that we have in the house.  And because the day started like that, I stopped and picked up pizza for the kids for dinner, and of course, I ate some of that too.

So on Thursday, the only day this week that had a little light, I did well, stayed relatively within my calories, and enjoyed a night with my daughter, she had her art featured at a gallery in Toronto, she is a 4th year Photography major, and it is a pretty big deal,  and I am very proud of her.

Jess

Then today, my period started…Need I say more?  I just want to throw the towel in and eat all the bad things that my body is craving, and it is really hard to be strong right now, I had a bit of a binge day today as well.  I just had this “fuck it” like feeling, that all of us feel sometimes.

Anyway, I apologize for this not being the positive post that I normally have, and really, I don’t normally have bad days, let alone weeks, I’m typically a very happy person, and believe that I have a lot to be happy about and grateful for.

I vow to make next week a much better week, I am going to stay within my calories and beat this negative feeling.

 

 

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10 thoughts on “One Lousy Week…

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle 😦

    We all have bad weeks, don’t throw in the towel just yet!!

    Just because you went above your calories, doesn’t mean your efforts are wasted. Every moment is a new chance to make good choices. You don’t have to wait until next week.

    At the same time, if you feel you need to indulge – it’s perfectly healthy to do that. This does remind me about a post I made recently about not falling off the wagon: http://fatgirlsfitness.com/2016/02/25/the-fresh-start-hypothesis/

    Anyway, best of luck to you! Hope next week is a better one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dori, I totally get what you are saying, and I appreciate your support, it is true, I used to start diets the first Monday after New Years day…talk about a very clean (spotless) slate! I totally see your point, and I want to be good, but this weekend, I am spending a lot of time with family and well, there is going to be a lot of food, and right now, I just don’t feel strong enough, even though, I totally get it, today, I stopped with the binging and am meal planning tomorrows breakfast and lunch to stay on track, because the evening is going to be where I will have issues.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. Please accept a virtual hug and my condolences for your loss. 😦

    We had a full moon this past week. Strange things happen during that timeframe (well, they do for me 😉 ). Not only that, PMS is wreaks havoc EVERY time it strikes!

    Congratulations to your daughter! You have every reason to be proud of her! She’s not mine and I’m proud of her! To be featured in a Gallery IS a HUGE deal!!

    Ok . . . So you’ve binged. Accept it. Do NOT beat yourself up for it. It is done. I have a tendency to say ‘fuck it’ A LOT! 😀

    You are TOTALLY entitled to having a ‘not positive’ post! No one can be positive 24/7! Life has a tendency to knock those of us who try to remain positive on our asses. When it happens, we Positive People, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move forward.

    Vince Lombardi said, “Its’ not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”

    Love this one: “NEVER QUIT. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today’s another day, so get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. YOU CAN DO IT!”

    I believe in you! I have faith in you! This week is simply one of those speed bumps we tend to drive a little too fast over . . . Oh wait! Maybe it’s just me that drives too bloody fast over them! (My bum literally lifts off the seat when I fly over one . . . on accident of course! 😉 )

    Big Virtual Hug to you, My Friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, Patti! You just made my night, I am totally accepting your hug, and am so happy for your support! Thank you for your condolences, and the sweet words about my daughter, I am a very proud, mama! 🙂 A full moon would explain a lot of things, and I really wish I read your comment before ordering pizza and wings…but you did make me feel better, I just won’t have as much as I was going to have! 🙂 I think I drive the same as you…over speed bumps, rail road tracks…you name it…LOL Oh and totally by accident! Thank you for being here! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We are kindred spirits! You mentioned pizza. My husband walked in the door carrying Little Caesar’s Hot ‘n’ Ready. I asked for Vegetable Fried Rice (non-practicing Catholic still practicing Catholic ways LOL). I was ready to strangle him . . . Until he produced a brown paper bag just for me!

        Funny Terrible Mother Moment: When my youngest was about three weeks old, we (my two oldest children, the baby and I) went to visit one of my girlfriends in Rancho Santa Margarita, CA. She wanted to go visit her baby brother in Long Beach. I said OK. We left the older two with her mom and we took the baby with us. Well, we’re driving along. She tells me I should slow down because they have these dips in the road. (They are supposed to be a deterrent for those who drive low riders – the vehicles whose bottoms are practically dragging on the ground.) Well, we get to talking. We forget all about the dips until right before she hollers at me and we go flying over one! Not only did her second warning come too late, but both of us had forgotten my three week old in the back seat!!!! We flew forward but were held in place by the seat belts. The baby got tossed a bit in his car seat, which thankfully was thoroughly strapped down. He barely made a sound – it was more like a tiny little grunt. WHOOPS!! When a sign says, “DIP IN THE ROAD” one must ALWAYS pay attention!!

        I will probably burn in hell for that one. I am a terrible mother!! LOL

        We are on this journey TOGETHER! You are not alone in your struggles! NEVER ALONE! ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Kindred spirits, indeed, when I bought pizza last Wednesday it was Little Caesar’s Hot and Ready! LOL – Last night was Pizza Pizza, I splurged because I really wanted the wings…
        I’m happy that you had your good meal, though, that takes a lot of strength, with pizza in the house.
        Your story is hilarious, we all have our “terrible mother moments” like this morning, my 8 year old had the left over pizza and pretzels for breakfast…yup..I even watched him do it…and well…It doesn’t happen often, but on the bright side, the pizza is gone…LOL – Today is a new day, and I am going to do the best that I can do, and be the best that I can be. This is just a “Dip in the Road” and I’m ready to move on!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. YAY to the pizza being gone! Removes the temptation!

        OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH Speaking of pretzels . . . My husband brought some blueberry yogurt pretzels and raspberry yogurt pretzels home last night, in addition to the pizza and Chinese.

        I have no idea how many times my kids ate leftovers for breakfast! Since I absolutely HATE to cook (not that I can’t, it’s just that I hate it), my kids would ask if their friends could come over for ‘microwave’ as that was typically what was for dinner! 😀

        Yes! Today is a bright new day full of LOTS of promise! It is all about our attitudes and how we let it affect us. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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