Ok, here I am, tail between my legs, and back to face the fire. So I had a bad day, ate everything and then decided I needed to go on a two week binge.
What is wrong with me? Does this happen to other people? What happens with me is I have one great night, with friends and drinks and food, and for whatever reason I wake up the next day and continue on the “cheat day”. Then the next day, I say “fuck it, I probably put on 5 pounds over the last two days, so why not just eat what I want right now”. That last for a few days, and I refuse to get on the scale and my clothes get a little bit tighter, and then I go through hating myself a little more, and finally, I tell myself I will make a clean and fresh start on Monday. Again, I ask myself, what is wrong with me?
In light of my absence from blogging, and the binging that I did, I managed to weigh in at 159 pounds, which is only a pound more than when I had my great weigh in of 158 pounds.
I feel like I am back on track now, and I have made the realization that I really need this blog, I need the support of fellow bloggers, and I can’t just sit here on my own having a pity party.
I am really focusing again, and for the last week, I have done well, but what scares me is next Saturday, I am hosting my annual Candy Poker Party. Candy Poker was invented when I was pregnant with my son, I wanted to have some fun, and because I couldn’t drink and party, I figured that I could play cards and eat candy and well, from that Candy Poker was born, this is year is our 9th annual. Now, I know what your thinking, but really, I don’t eat a lot of the candy, that is what we bet with and even when things are said and done, I typically don’t binge on that, my real issue is imbibing in alcohol and eating the other party snacks. I make an awesome baked brie, with pizza dough and garlic, and you can rip off the dough and dip it in to the hot brie…it is to die for! There are also healthy items like spinach dip and veggies, and cheese and crackers, but it is just the amount of food, and I tend to eat more when I drink. Now, really, I don’t care about that night, I can say to myself that is a cheat night, what worries me is the next 2 weeks after Candy Poker.
That is where I need help, my goal is not to stay away from the blog and reach out for support.
If anyone has any other suggestions, I would be happy to hear them, as for now, I am back, I have a whole week to get back to where I was, and hopefully, we can stay on track.