Pregnant Life

When I left home, I told my dad that I wouldn’t move back home if my mother was there even if I didn’t have two pennies to rub together.  So, when she left and went to Israel to look for God, it was kind of a good time to tell my dad that he was going to be a grandfather.

Man, was he mad…Like really mad, he wanted me to have an abortion, then he said to put the baby up for adoption, and then there was the very long time where he didn’t even look at me, and he would only speak to me if it was necessary.  So, I was home now, my doctor told me to quit my job pumping gas at the gas station, because the fumes weren’t good, but I didn’t quit till I couldn’t fit into my uniform any more.  My dad sold the house, and supplied my mother with her share to stay in Israel longer, and he bought a house in Ajax.  He lived there for a month before I moved in.

I called my mother to tell her that I was pregnant, this was mostly just to piss her off, and the joke was on me, she was so very happy for me.  She said that I would make a great mother, and she was happy to be a grandmother.  Damn…That really sucked for me.  I was really looking to piss her off!

Jacks’s mother found out through her work, if you recall, it was a small town, it was a little upsetting for her especially to find out at work – Jack called her to check in and this is how it went:

Jack’s Mom:  I heard the stupidest thing at work, one of girls says that Jenn is pregnant

Jack:  She is

Jack’s Mom:  What??  (Hangs up)

They accepted it way faster than my dad did, but they were disappointed too.

In the first 3 months, I had morning sickness, well, more like all day sickness, I couldn’t keep anything down, including crackers, but after the first 3 months, things were fine, I had a very normal pregnancy without a lot of issues.

Jack and I had a pretty good summer, we spent time together at bon fires, camping, and just being outside.  He still drank and partied, and I watched, but it got tedious after a while, I couldn’t drink and imbibe and had to be careful, and well, that part of the teenage pregnancy sucked…I was still young, and couldn’t conceive anything else but the present.

I couldn’t do much so I started going back to school in September, took one semester of high school, and things were ok.  I turned 19 during my pregnancy and that was the legal drinking age, so no partying for me.  Jack and I started to fight more around this time, because of course, he was out drinking and partying every weekend, and I couldn’t, I sat in my dads house doing homework, and was pretty much alone.

I was doing well in school this time, I had taken Grade 11 Advanced Math, which was not a mandatory course, and I got 98% overall, turns out if I applied myself, I was a smart cookie.

So my mother calls one day and says she was talking to God and he said that I was going to have a baby girl, and I was going to call her Jessica.

So, I didn’t know at the time I was having a girl, and if it was a girl, I was going to be naming her Jaime.  Until of course, I didn’t like the name any more, I had loved it for many years, since I was a little kid, then all of a sudden, hated it.  We did want to stay with a “J” name because both of Jack’s brothers had “J” names and his dad and all 7 of his siblings had “J” names, it was convenient that I had a “J” name so we really wanted to stick with that.  I eventually had an ultrasound that said that I was having a girl, and Jack decided he really liked the name Jessica.

At this time, I kind of thought that my mother was a little psychic, so I called and asked her if she would speak with God and find out how much this baby will weigh, my mother says she will check and get back to me, she called me back and said she will weigh just a little over seven pounds, so I figure, that is average baby weight, so she is full of it, but whatever.

On Christmas Eve, I was alone with my dad, no tree, no dinner, no nothing, he was still  not talking to me even though, I was due in about 3 weeks.  I asked him if he was mad at me.  He said no, he said that he was disappointed, and that when this baby comes out he would love it no matter what.

Christmas with Jack’s family was nice, I went there on Christmas Day, and there were a few gifts for the baby too, they were always very thoughtful.

On January 12th at 11:50pm, I felt “something” it didn’t really hurt, but it wasn’t normal, I had been studying for my science exam, they assigned teachers to come to my house on exam days because I was so close to my due date.  I decided it was time to go to bed, and at midnight, I felt another little “something”.  I decided that I should better sleep because of the exam.  I woke up at 2:00am and went to the bathroom, and I had dropped my mucus plug.  My dad was asleep, and I really didn’t want to wake him with this, and it was 2am so I thought I better not call Jack’s house to wake everyone up in case it was nothing.  I did however, decide that this would be a good time to pack for the hospital.  At 4:00am, I couldn’t do it any more, I couldn’t wait till later in the morning, I was sure I was having contractions and they were not very far apart. I had to wake everyone up now, so I called Jack’s house, and his dad answered and his exact words were “Is she on her way?”  I smiled and said yes, he said he would wake Jack and meet us at the hospital.

Then I woke my dad up, I knew he would be panicky, so I put my coat and boots on had my bag and then woke him up, he basically put his boots on and was pulling his pants up on the front porch.

I got to the hospital and got admitted and Jack showed up a little while later, and we had this nurse that was just horrible, she lectured me about being a pregnant teenager, and that I don’t know what I’m doing and what was I thinking, and well, if you ask me, it was a little late for the lecture, but things turned around at 6:00am we got a new nurse, and she was amazing, she had a student nurse shadowing her who was equally amazing, and things started moving along.  I had an epidural, and don’t regret it at all!

At 9:37am, with Jack by my side, I gave birth to Jessica, a beautiful baby girl, who weighed, 7lbs .04oz, the doctor’s exact words were you have a healthy baby girl, who weighs just little over 7 pounds.



Small Towns

So Jack and I started dating when I was 16 and he was 15, yes, I was a bit older than him, I met him at school, but he didn’t go to my school, his bus transferred at my school and we met in the smoking area.

Shortly after we met, we started dating and I dropped out of school, our relationship was amazing, he was my first true love, and we were inseparable, we were together as long as we could be, every waking moment, and pretty much all our weekends together too.

Things were still rough at home, in fact, my parents, well, let’s be clear, my mother wanted to move to a new house – she would get bored every few years, so they bought this great big house in Whitby, which is 2 towns east of Pickering, in the same region, but miles away from where Jack lived, so of course, this was disastrous.

Jack and I managed through the move, in fact, I enrolled in highschool in Whitby and things were looking up, but about a month after that, all hell broke loose at home, my mother and I got into it, and it ended with her slamming my hand in the sliding door, as she was trying to push me out, yup, she was kicking me out.  So at this time, I moved to Jack’s town and dropped out of school once more.

I lived in the house across the street from Jack, the lady that lived there, had a little boy,  and she let me move in as they had an extra room, she also had another tenant and they were really great people, however, they had a bit of a drug issue, so I spent a lot of time watching her little boy, this is how I paid for my keep, in fact, there were times that she would leave and she didn’t come back for a few days.  I did love kids, and so, it was fine, and he was looked after and fed, and told stories and really loved, but looking back, neither of us should have been put in that situation.  Anyway, I lived there for quite a while, and Jack and I were still going strong.

When I was 17, I managed to get myself into a government run program where you went to the program, and basically learned some skills, mostly social and interpersonal, and they would put you in a job placement, where you could learn about a field that you were interested in, so for example, if you wanted to be a veterinarian, then they would place you in an Animal Hospital so that you could learn, and possibly get motivated enough to go back to school.  In my case, I lived in a very small town, I didn’t drive, and I couldn’t get a ride into Pickering everyday for work, so my placement was a full  service gas station, but it was great, after the 12 week program was over, my boss kept me on.

After I got the job at the station the lady that let me stay there was moving out, so I had to find some place to move to in town, well it was a small town, so rather quickly, I found out that I could move in with the people who lived across from the only store in town.  It was a 7 minute walk from where I was.  I was able to pay room and board, I got a room in the house and learned very quickly that they were infested with cockroaches.  Before moving my stuff in I got two cans of spray, sprayed my room, and bought a roach motel.  I sprayed my room every 2 weeks, like clockwork.  Through the 6 months or so that I lived there, there was never any cockroaches in my roach motel…Thank goodness.  The house was so gross and so infested that the roaches lived in the display in the microwave, so sometimes you couldn’t tell what time it was.  You didn’t normally see them all day, but when you got up in the morning and turned on the light you could see them all scatter, still gives me the creeps to this day.

I knew I needed to get out of there, and working at the gas station had many benefits, there were a ton of people that I could talk to about places for rent.  So I found out that this farm house would be coming available and it would only cost $600/m for rent, it had a wood stove, and some electric heating, but they tell me the bills were relatively low, so I figured I could swing it.  On moving day, they weren’t ready for me, so they said I could put my stuff up in the barn and it would be safe there, for two weeks till they were ready to move, I hadn’t given them money yet, so it was good, and then because I wasn’t going back to the roaches, I stayed with Jack’s aunt, she also lived in the same town.  After 2 weeks and not hearing anything, I went back to see them, and as it turns out, they weren’t going to move, so I lost the house, but really in hindsight, I don’t know if I could have afforded it, and the really good thing was that my stuff stayed in this barn, and it was getting colder, and so if there were any roaches in my stuff, which I was sure there weren’t but if they were in with my stuff, then they were gone after sitting in that cold barn for a couple of weeks.  I never found any evidence of cockroaches in my stuff.

I ended up moving in with Jack’s aunt full time.  They are an awesome family, all of Jack’s family are really awesome people, and I am still very close with them to this day.  Jack’s cousin also lived there, she was only 12 when I met her, and to this day, she is my baby sister, we don’t see each other as often as I would like, but we are in each other’s hearts.

I’m going to jump back a bit, the summer when I was 17, I decided to play hookie from work one day, everyone was having fun, going to the swimming hole, and I had to work, they had put me on evenings at this time, so I worked 1-9 over that summer, which really sucked.  Anyway, Jack had a car that was going to be his once he got his license, he put on old plates, and stuck the battery charger in the back seat (just in case) and the plan was driving to the swimming hole while his parents were at work, and come home before they did and no one would be none the wiser, we get in he puts the key in the ignition and starts to reverse.

Me:  Put your seatbelt on

Jack:  Nah, I don’t drive with that

Me:  Put your seatbelt on, or we don’t go

Jack:  If we get pulled over we are screwed anyway

Me:  Yes, but if we get pulled for your seatbelt that would be really dumb

Jack:  don’t worry about it

Me: (I pull the keys from the ignition) Put your seatbelt on

So he did.  So the swimming hole is a whole 10 minutes away – if that, and it is down a gravel road, so we are driving along and Jack decides to do a couple of fish tails, and then loses control of the car, our buddy was also in the back seat, we all thought that it would just hit the ditch, but nope, it must have hit exactly perfect for us to flip the car 3 times.  Jack’s head hits the wind shield, and his hand takes out the side mirror.  He flies back in his seat, and I believe that he is dead.  I look back at our buddy who is in the back seat trying to dodge the battery charger that is being thrown around.  It was very scary.  I had Jack’s blood on my bathing suit.  Amazingly, the car lands on its wheels, and is rolling through this field.  Jack comes to, and gets out the car, we are all out of the car, and Jack is trying to pull the plates off the car, succeeds, and we run across the field to another friends place and we stay there for a while.  A long while, his parents are going to be so mad.  I’m glad that he wore that seatbelt.

Jack and I are still doing great, through all the moves, the accident and everything.  By this time, I am now 18, working full time at the gas station, been moved around and seen a lot more of the real world than I expected.

One day while at work, my dad came in to get gas, and he says, do you know where your mother is?  I glance through the back window of his station wagon, and say no.  He says Israel.  She left to go look for God.  This is around the time that I found out I was pregnant.