Back To It

So, it’s been a really long time since I have been here.  I apologise, I was not in a good head space, and was not able to blog or get things out.  I’m also not done with letting things go, so I will get back to that soon too.

But today, I am going to update my weight and restart my journey.  I took a long hiatus, and now I am going to get back to it.

This summer I topped out at 175 pounds, this is higher than I have ever been, I hate myself for getting there.  Things hurt, I hate me, and I went to a very dark place.  I spent many weekends on my couch, just watching TV, napping, eating and drinking.  I would tell my friends who wanted to see me that I was busy, and I would sit there in the dark and hate me until I had to leave to pick up my son, or get up and go to work.  I put on a good face for the kids, and walked with them and did things with them, but once they weren’t here for a weekend or a night, I would lose myself in my darkness.

I am down to 172 pounds right now, and I am also down 3 inches in my waist.  It’s not great it’s only 3 pounds, but I’m getting there.

In September, I went to visit a very good friend of mine, Patti, the kids and I went down together, left Canada, and ventured into the US to meet this beautiful soul.  I am so grateful to her, she was the one that propelled me into starting my journey again.  In fact, it was because of her blog, that I am writing tonight.  With Patti’s positivity, she pulled me out of my depression.  She got me back on track and I will always be indebted to her for this.

When I was in the US visiting with Patti, she bought me a book, it’s called Always Hungry  written by Dr. David Ludwig.  I can’t thank her enough.  This is what I have been following for the last few weeks.  I have seen a change in the way I feel, I haven’t been craving the sweets, ice cream, chips and McDonalds that I usually crave.  I’m not counting calories, but I am following the plan the best I can.

I also started Zumba, I go two nights a week, and, I am terrible at it, but I love it.  Another friend of mine introduced me to it, I met her through work, I’m in outside sales, and I called on her so often that we became friends and now we do Zumba together!  🙂

I have also been trying to walk after dinner, with the weather getting colder and wetter lately, it’s not going great, but I do try.  I’m here for the long haul, I am going to try to keep this new way of living up as long as I can.  I need to do this, I need to change me and I want to continue feeling happier, and I want my body not to hurt anymore.

I’m back.