So, I’ve been able to keep up with the blog challenge, that is on the plus side.
Last week, I mentioned, I was going to visit with a friend, my long-time friend, it was her birthday weekend, I was supposed to stay the whole weekend, but as it turned out, she had to go out of town Saturday night, so I only stayed over from Friday till Saturday and then went home Saturday evening.
On Friday night, we had a few beers and I made a spicy pinto bean dip with cheese from my Always Hungry book and we all munched on that, so far so good, carrots and dip. I hadn’t had beers in a long while, it was a good night, my son loves going to visit his auntie and uncle, they are like big kids themselves, so they have a lot of fun with Devin, watching movies and playing video games, and I got to do a lot of catching up with good friends. We stayed up to the wee hours of the morning and woke around 11 and went for lunch.
We went out for ramen to an amazing little place called Kenzo Ramen and Saturday for lunch would be the first time that I had grains in about a month. It was sooo good, like amazingly good. I ate my whole bowl of Tonkotsu Ramen and it was fantastic.
That was my big cheating weekend, the beers on Friday and the ramen on Saturday. Because I didn’t end up staying till Sunday, I came home and went back to my normal diet, and didn’t have any more beers. I even went to the gym on Sunday which would have been impossible had I stayed another night.
I was totally on track all day Monday, and went to the gym and did my first ever spin class. It was really hard. I also did another spin class first thing Tuesday morning, after my weigh in, where I was up .5 of a pound. I know, it’s nothing, and it’s so good for a weekend of cheating, but I was totally and wholly disappointed this morning. Why does it have to be so hard. Really, it was a few beers and a bowl of Ramen, and that took away not only from losing anything but it put on half a pound? Does that make any sense at all?
I feel like I had some wins, but when I am up 1/2 a pound, I feel like I’m doing this for no reason, I could have easily cheated the whole weekend, I could have not gone to the gym and I feel like I would have still been up that 1/2 a pound. You might say that I might have been up more, but really, we don’t really know that, and I don’t find this fair. I’m on a bit of a teeter totter right now, and when I feel disappointed, I want to just throw the towel in. I am really trying to keep going and staying on track and my teeter totter is still going in that direction, but if I get another week like this one, then I know me, I will fall off track and give in to the foods that I actually want to eat, because I will start feeling deprived.
I don’t mind carrying on with a “lifestyle change” as long as I am seeing the benefit, but when I stop seeing changes, and when the scale goes up, then I start to wonder, why the fuck am I doing this?
It was an excellent weekend, but now I feel like I can’t have any of those weekends if I really want to lose the weight, I thought I did so well, staying on track with food the whole time I was there (outside of the light beer) and then it was only the Ramen on Saturday. If that tipped the scale, what will a binge weekend do? What will all the upcoming events around the holidays do? I feel like I can’t have any fun if I want to lose weight.
This was my rant, this week, I am going to stick with it, and I don’t have any plans this weekend to mess things up, so my goal is to get down to 168. This is only a pound and a 1/2, the 1/2 that I already worked off once, and one extra pound. Before the end of November, I would like to be at 165. I’m trying to keep my goals realistic. This is about a pound a week.
Wish me luck, and if you have any advice, I’d love to hear it.